ext_119760 ([identity profile] shichahn.livejournal.com) wrote in [personal profile] shichahn 2012-10-21 01:58 pm (UTC)

You would ask some very long and detailed questions, wouldn't you? Haha. Okay, well, let's see.

1. ... So, GLaDOS and Cave Johnson (wtf how did you do that) apparently are opening a diner. Except the diner is a front as it's actually a way to test unusual chemical compounds on unsuspecting customers. Cave is the manager, clearly, while GLaDOS is his expert chef, who sometimes takes his ideas into her own hands and makes them far deadlier. As you might suspect, health inspectors go to investigate complaints and are killed immediately by turret waiters, and the government shuts the place down. Name of the place... idk. Something subtle, unassuming, and not in any way suspcious. "Cave Johnson's Amazing and Totally Safe Eatery. Puts hair on your chest." (Because all restaurants need a subtitle.)

2. Oh dear. The Director, Lilith, Anghel, Mordecai, and Agent South apparently have started a band. Called uhhhh Devil's Mercenary, that somehow suits them. This will be trouble. I'm not sure why they're starting a band because not a single one of them has touched an instrument before, but evidently that doesn't hold any of them back. Lilith and South are both on guitar and vocals, with South as the angry screamo lead vocalist, Mordecai on... bass? And I think Anghel would enjoy himself doing drums. The Director is their manager, of course. Um, but, no. This does not work out. Anghel makes everyone else psychotic, South and Lilith get in a fight which means fire and bullets everywhere, Mordecai gets the hell out of there with the pity tips they earn while trying to play on a street corner, and the Director throws his hands up in resignation and goes to do something far more important (that will hopefully make him famous, screw the rest of them).

Annnd I exceeded the character limit.

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