Character meme

[shichahn]

Haven't done something like this in absolutely forever, so here you go:

I have a list of 15 characters. Please propose scenarios in the style of: "1 and 5 bake bread together. Does the kitchen survive?"

or

"3, 7, and 9 wake up married. Does the universe survive? What does 10 think?"

etc. Characters from RvB, Borderlands, Portal, Hatoful Boyfriend. COME AT ME BRO. If you get really lucky some of these may get drawn, depending on if I feel like it or not.

Comments

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

-4 and 10 go into business together selling edible things (i.e. they own a coffee shop, bakery, pizzeria, etc.). What kind of establishment is it? What do they name the place? Who does what? Are things actually edible or is it a massive disaster? Is the business successful?

-2, 6, 8, 12, and 14 start a band! What kind of band is it? Who plays what instrument, and who sings? What is the band called? Are they any good? Do they become famous?

-All of the odd numbers are stranded on an uninhabited tropical island. What happens? TELL ME EVERYTHING, i.e. do they survive, or does everybody die? Do they join together in a cohesive team, do they split into opposing forces, do one or more of them take off on their own? Does someone emerge as an effective leader? Is someone really good at survival skills like farming, fishing, hunting, building shelter? Do they dissolve into warfare and cannibalism? Who gets eaten and who does the eating?

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

You would ask some very long and detailed questions, wouldn't you? Haha. Okay, well, let's see.

1. ... So, GLaDOS and Cave Johnson (wtf how did you do that) apparently are opening a diner. Except the diner is a front as it's actually a way to test unusual chemical compounds on unsuspecting customers. Cave is the manager, clearly, while GLaDOS is his expert chef, who sometimes takes his ideas into her own hands and makes them far deadlier. As you might suspect, health inspectors go to investigate complaints and are killed immediately by turret waiters, and the government shuts the place down. Name of the place... idk. Something subtle, unassuming, and not in any way suspcious. "Cave Johnson's Amazing and Totally Safe Eatery. Puts hair on your chest." (Because all restaurants need a subtitle.)

2. Oh dear. The Director, Lilith, Anghel, Mordecai, and Agent South apparently have started a band. Called uhhhh Devil's Mercenary, that somehow suits them. This will be trouble. I'm not sure why they're starting a band because not a single one of them has touched an instrument before, but evidently that doesn't hold any of them back. Lilith and South are both on guitar and vocals, with South as the angry screamo lead vocalist, Mordecai on... bass? And I think Anghel would enjoy himself doing drums. The Director is their manager, of course. Um, but, no. This does not work out. Anghel makes everyone else psychotic, South and Lilith get in a fight which means fire and bullets everywhere, Mordecai gets the hell out of there with the pity tips they earn while trying to play on a street corner, and the Director throws his hands up in resignation and goes to do something far more important (that will hopefully make him famous, screw the rest of them).

Annnd I exceeded the character limit.

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

3. I'm not going to tell you EVERYTHING because it would turn into a novel, but here's the gist:

On our island, we have Tex, Yuuya, Shuu, Church, Donut, Carolina, CT, and Patricia Tannis.

Tannis isolates herself early on, finding survival far easier without suffering panic attacks from being around these idiots. She will instead find ways to study them from afar, and occasionally slip things into their water supply to see what happens. For science, of course. (Man, my list is populated by people like this, isn't it? GLaDOS, Cave Johnson, the Director, Shuu, and Tannis should all just get together and do some crazy experiments.)

Unfortunately for Yuuya and Shuu, they don't last long, both being delicious gamebirds. Donut is rather horrified at this development, but the rest don't particularly care, preferring to be fed than to stare at their delicious companions once they start getting hungry. Church feels kind of bad for the guy, and can almost sympathize, except he loves food, and roasted chukar sounds amazing anyway.

The Freelancers, of course, are all very independent and capable of managing survival just fine. Really, with the armor that they have, shelter isn't even that big of a concern. Tannis, as well, has no troubles on the survival front. If she could live on her own in the wasteland that is Pandora, a tropical island is practically her version of a resort, despite having its own share of difficulties. Church and Donut would have more trouble, but Church sticks close to Tex, and Carolina insists on making sure Donut is taken care of, even if he's just a sim soldier who really doesn't even matter. He proves himself good for something when he starts finding ways to make fabric from palm fronds, and weaves a few feather-stuffed pillows for everyone.

Conflict arises over leadership decisions, particularly between Carolina and Tex and occasionally Church. CT eventually backs out of this mess, having no desire to deal with the daily drama that is those three, and goes to live on her own as well. She can manage just fine. This leaves Tex, Church, and Donut on one side, and Carolina on the other. Carolina would feel like a failure if she abandoned them, but eventually she decides she doesn't have much choice, as coexisting with Tex will never happen. She later runs into CT and decides to stick around with her, and that turns out okay. Without the Director there to make things difficult, CT and Carolina actually become pretty good friends.

So, they have one side of the island, Tex, Church, and Donut have another, and Tannis establishes her semi-permanent camp at the top of the extinct volcano where she can watch everyone and also learn about the strange new endemic flora and fauna. There's one particularly large boulder at the top of the volcano, which she names Julio, and sometimes she goes and talks to him. They also become fast friends, as it turns out. Which is good. Tannis likes having friends, as long as they're inanimate and unlikely to startle her with unexpected comments or movements.

I could go on about the adventures of Tannis and Julio, but I will spare you her crazy.

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

You know I have to make you work for it! :D

1. BEEEEEEESSSTT. Ohmigod, LAUGHING SO HARD OVER HERE. YEEEEEEESSS~!!

2. South would make such an excellent angry screamo lead vocalist. XD

3. Donut makes palm frond pillows! <333 I don't really know Tannis but she sounds enjoyable. <3 Tannis and Julio.

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

Yeah you really hit the jackpot with number 1, haha.

Tannis is hilarious, I love her. Easily one of my favorite characters ever. There's no possible way to describe her but if you have a few minutes you can find out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fVibyMCT2ZQ) more (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P3scBd5ekRU). She... has a tendency to avoid people and become emotionally attached to inanimate objects. It's amazing.

[hyper-amychao.livejournal.com]

Okay I've been thinking about this for a while, trying to come up with something fun.

4 and 7 get together to plan a surprise party for 11. They invite 2, 4, and 6. What ends up happening?

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

Evidently number 4 invited him/herself, you silly person. Pick a different number for one of them. ;)

[hyper-amychao.livejournal.com]

omg. damn typos. I meant to say 5 and 7 get together XD

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

Fat bird and Church are... having a surprise party for Carolina. And they invited the Director, GLaDOS, and Lilith. ... Yep. (As an aside, the Director and GLaDOS seem to be involved in a lot of things together in this meme. They are perfect for each other.)

Goodness, I don't even know, man. Shuu just wants to cut up Carolina and see how she works because she's such an amazing human specimen. Church does not want this to happen because he thinks Carolina's kind of hot and anyway, who does that for a surprise birthday? Or ever? GLaDOS wants to help Shuu, Lilith is only there because they paid her to be, and the Director has to get everyone to back the fuck off and stop harassing his almost-best agent. His angryface scares everyone into submission.

[martienne17.livejournal.com]

It's the early 1700s and 5, 6, 7, 8, 12, and 15 are part of the crew of a pirate ship. Which one is the captain? Who's the one who's perpetually drunk (can be one and the same)? Who's the one who instigates a mutiny? Who takes the fall for it and walks the plank?

2, 3, 13, and 14 have to pose as a nuclear family for a spy operation. Who poses as the parents and who poses as the kids? What careers do the 'parents' pose as having? Do they pull off the operation or do they blow their cover?

1 and 4 are the power-hungry leaders of the two opposing factions in a post-apocalyptic gangland civil war. In the end, which faction wins, and how?

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

1. Shuu, Lilith, Church, Anghel, Mordecai, and Tannis as pirates? This should be good. Church would probably instate himself as captain until Lilith says wtf no, since she is actually capable of... all kinds of things. Church is not, haha. Mordecai is obviously the perpetually drunk one (because that's jut how he is in canon anyway). Anghel clearly is the one to instigate a mutiny once he decides that Lilith is some kind of hellish fire demon that will eat everyone's souls, and his infectious psychoses start to afflict everyone else. Meanwhile Tannis, who is more fascinated than horrified by Shuu, conspire to encourage said mutiny if only to study Anghel's effect on everyone else. Being the abrasive asshole that he is, Church is immediately suspected as the one who started this nonsense, and is kicked off via plank-walking. Also he always dies multiple times anyway so that seems right.

2. ... Best family ever. The Director is the dad, ... CT is the mom I guess? Wow she would not be happy with that, haha. But South is clearly their irresponsible rebellious daughter, and Yuuya is Yuuya. He's good at the undercover stuff. So he'd be South's dumb pet bird by day, and secret agent pigeon by night! The Director pretends he works in IT (thus explaining his constant anger issues!), and CT acts as though she works in a coffee shop. They come so very close to pulling it off, but South blows their cover when she gets fed up near the end of the mission and pulls a gun on her gym teacher.

3. Tex vs GLaDOS? Well, I think Tex wins that one pretty handily. See, she has actual control over her gang, whereas GLaDOS keeps pulling individual members to test their ability to withstand weapons and tortures to be used on the opposing side. Their allegiance to her isn't very high after they discover that.

[regonym.livejournal.com]

1 and 15 are mistaken for boyfriends/girlfriends/significant-others/married by 2 and 4. WHAT AWKWARD HIJINKS ENSUE?

3 and 7 are roommates and find a puppy abandoned in a box on their doorstep. What do they do next?

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

... You write nice simple questions, Melissa. I like you. You are so much nicer than those people up above.

1. So apparently, while at some kind of wonderful science conference, the Director and GLaDOS manage to think Tex (who came along with the Director as his bodyguard) is sleeping with another brilliant scientist they met at the conference, Patricia Tannis. Tannis, who hates conferences already due to her multitude of phobias involving people, is absolutely mortified that someone would think she would actually touch another person. She shrieks, and a capillary in her nose bursts, spraying blood all over everyone, and then she bolts from the scene, unable to handle the situation without having some kind of aneurism. ... No seriously, that's what she'd do.

2. A knock at the door one morning wakes up Church, who finds a puppy abandoned in front of it. Yuuya is off being mysterious and has disappeared for a while, so Church brings it in - because grumble as much as he can about stupid puppies biting and pissing all over the place and shitting on the carpet, he has a soft spot for dogs and always wanted one anyway. Yuuya comes home and is pretty okay with this. ... This is the most normal thing that happened on this meme, being that by that point, Church has gotten over the fact that his roommate is a large fantail pigeon. Congratulations, I feel like you won something.

[regonym.livejournal.com]

The most normal thing on this meme is when a human and a pigeon adopt a puppy together? o.o Wow, I'm afraid to scroll up and read everyone else's prompts. XD

Awww, poor Patricia Tannis person. Worse, the nosebleed would totally make everyone think (if this were an anime haha) that she was embarrassed b/c she thought Tex was hot or something. I suppose Tex probably handled the whole thing with snark and aplomb, of course.

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

Yes, I'm sure Tex would not be terribly concerned by any of this. Possibly flattered, except she is also quite familiar with what the Director thinks about her, so possibly confused if this assumption is coming from him, haha.

Luckily, none of this is an anime. I'm sure Tannis would find such an explanation stupid and boring. But she probably finds animation itself tedious and wasteful. ... I love Tannis, she cracks me up.

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

Pshh, clearly my questions are the best questions, don't even act. :P

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

Your first question, man. You get an award for that one, too.

[zolac-no-miko.livejournal.com]

Haha yeah that was definitely the best one!

[shinyget.livejournal.com]

9 and 13 spend a carefree day together. What do they do?

If 2 and 7 had to survive during the zombie apocalypse, what weapons would they use and how would they do it?

8 is giving 15 a make-over. What's the result?

[shichahn.livejournal.com]

1. I feel like Donut and CT might actually get along if CT can get over the whole disdain for sim soldiers thing that most Freelancers have! Donut would probably want to go to the mall and do some shopping, which she'd find pretty tedious until they stopped for lunch at a smoothie and baked goods sort of place, which she enjoys. And then he'd do a little fashion demonstration for her and show off the outfits he got, and he might even get her to laugh at that. They'd eventually end up finishing the day watching chick flicks and eating ice cream. By then her stoicism might have melted just a little bit more. CT is a softie, deep down.

2. Well... the only way they'd ever survive is if this was the Director and pre-split Alpha. In which case they'd grab the nearest huge military machine of destruction they'd have access to, and blow shit up, then go hide in a bunker somewhere until the zombies all starve to undeath or whatever zombies do if you leave them alone for a while. ... If this were a much later version of Church, there would be so much infighting between them that they would both be totally screwed. So. There's that.

3. Anghel gives Tannis a makeover! As said above, I have a feeling Tannis would be more okay with pigeons than people. Perhaps okay enough to allow this. Anghel would have to search far and wide for the things he'd need, but by the end, if he got his wish, Tannis would look one part Harajuku girl and one part gothic lolita. And she might even be hallucinatory enough by then to think she looked amazing.